A brilliant plan

I’ve got an idea.  Probably the best idea I’ve ever had.  Perhaps the greatest idea ever thought.  It’s a sure-fire idea, and would certainly make whoever has the smarts to create it a multi-zillionaire who never have to work another day in their life.  And I’ll only charge a small amount for my idea…a “finder’s fee,” if you will. 

What we need is some sort of gadget that you can somehow hook to your body that is able to convert the amount of mental energy expended in a day into calories. 

Who wouldn’t want that?!?

If there was some way of doing this, I really think that a lot of my problems would be solved.  I know I need to exercise.  There was a day…not all that long ago, really…when I used to work out every day.  Hard.  And I loved it.  Then something happened.  Life.  I went back to work.  My kids got slightly older and involved in more activities.  My piles of laundry started to multiply and the dust bunnies mated.  And just like that…I was off the wagon. 

I’ve done a lot to avoid falling into this trap.  No time for the gym?  No problem…there’s a treadmill in the playroom and a giant weight bench in the garage.  Too cold to go out to the garage?  No prob…there’s a set of kettle bells right next to the dog toys in the living room.  Only have a few minutes to spare?  Grab the yoga ball and do some squats.  I’m telling ya…any excuse I could think of, I found a solution for.  But as it turns out, none of those are the problem.  It’s not that I don’t have time (though I don’t).  It’s not that it’s too cold in the garage (though it will be soon).  It’s that I don’t have the energy.  The mental energy.  I am going 100 mph…all day…every day.  I am biting off more than I can chew at work.  I have good intentions…it’s all building up the foundation that I need to be able to (*fingers crossed*) open up a private practice in a few years.  But in the meantime…it’s killing me.  I’m trying to squeeze 16 hours worth of work in an 8 hr day.  I could work 10 hr days…12 hr days…14 hr days…and maybe eventually get caught up.  But then what? I’d totally miss out on my kids’ lives.  So what do I do?  I work my mind numb all day at work and somehow on my 20-minute drive to pick them up, find the mental strength to give them 100%.  To make dinner and sit down at the table as a family and create memories I can only hope are as good as those I treasure from my own childhood.  To play.  To laugh.  To listen to their stories.  To read.  To snuggle.  To tuck them in and make them feel as safe and loved as they are. 

And then…

I collapse.  I’m spent.  I’m done.  And I can’t get the oomph I need to get my ass upstairs and work out.

That is exactly why we need my idea.  I’d be one hell of a skinny bitch.


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