Dear annoying high school classmate who I haven’t seen since graduation whose Facebook friend request I didn’t have the heart to reject,

I am more than just a little bit tired of your constant monopolizing of my Facebook homepage.  The reason I signed up for Facebook was to reconnect with old friendS.  Plural.  Not to be forced to look at your 724 quizzes, scripture quotes, mind-numbing status messages, notes, youtube videos and otherwise stupid shit.  Do I care that you are struggling to knit a sock?  No.  Do I need to see a video clip of how to correctly knit a sock?  No.  Do I care about your score on the “know it all about Harry Potter” trivia challenge?  No.  Do I give a shit about the fact that you are a “nympho” according to the “how sex crazed are u?” quiz?  Hell no.  In fact, that last one really disgusts me, and is what finally put me over the edge…prompting this letter.  Don’t get me wrong…I’m all for the occasional silly quiz or fun poll.  Hell, I found it amusing to share that I’m “just plain white” according to the “how black are you?” quiz.  (which, by the way…I think is a little off. I’m at least a little bit black. I love rap, watermelon, and LL’s lips.)  But what’s great about those little applications is that you are always given the option to publish the results.  Or not.  May I suggest that the next time you’re bored and need to know “what’s your bible IQ?” you select the “no thanks” option when asked if you’d like to publish your results.  It’s getting a little out of hand…I’m wasting inordinate amounts of time scrolling through your ridiculous bullshit to get to the happenings of people I actually care about.

And just so that you know…I’m not the only one that feels this way.  I’ve spoken to one of our mutual Facebook friends, who happened to speak to another of your Facebook friends and we are all in agreement that this is worthy of deletion.  Now, I’m not sure if you can tell if you’ve been deleted as someone’s “friend” (and I only use that word as a technicality in this case), so I’ve been hesitant to do so.  I don’t want to show up at the high school reunion as the bitch that deletes people from her Facebook account.  I have a reputation as a very nice person to uphold.

Thanks so much,



2 Responses

  1. That, my friend deserves a “Piece of Flair”…. PS~ you can “hide” any fb friend whose posts are unenjoyable. I have done so for several… Place cursor on their name, and to the right of the line you will see the option “hide”. Wash your hands of scripture and fantastical quizzes!!!

  2. Amen! (pun intended)

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