I hate mimes.  Hate them.

I can’t ever remember a time when I thought they were cool.  When I was younger…maybe in 8th grade?…a family friend of mine who had always been artsy and into theatre went to mime camp.  Mime camp???? Can you imagine…20 teenagers in ridiculous white face paint gathered together, silently putting themselves into imaginary boxes for an entire week?! That’s torture just to think about.  I sort of lost respect for that friend, and even though I’ve seen her several times since then and she’s actually a very nice chick…I just can’t get past the fact that she used to be a mime. 

In high school there was a girl in my class who was pretty odd to begin with…a quiet, overweight, nerdy girl who never really attracted much attention to herself.  Until she came to school one day in full mime paraphernalia.  She refused to talk all day…wouldn’t answer any questions in class…unless she could do so by miming.  The next day she came back as the “normal” nerdy girl and no mention was ever made of why the hell she decided to be a mime for a day. 

I read that Tom Bergeron (the host of Dancing with the Stars) used to be a mime.  That guy always kind of irritates me, but he makes me laugh sometimes too so I haven’t really had any beef with hiim.  Until now. 

Why do I have such a hatred of mimes?  I just think it’s fucking weird.  I’m all for art…I don’t always get it, but I can respect most “art” as such.  But I’m sorry…miming is not art.  Why do people want to dress up in all black and sport insane white face paint and gloves?  Silently.  I love talking…I don’t get how people can just not do it.  And why do all mimes…amateur street performers and professionals alike do the same shit?  Inevitably they will get stuck in a box and tug on a rope.  It’s not entertaining at all. 

My dear BFFLMNOP shares my hatred of mimes, and we got to talking about them again tonight.  For serious mime-haters, we talk about them a lot.  We’re wondering who the hell seriously likes them?  Then we wondered if there is a small, sick population of people who get turned on by mimes.  Like, is there a mime couple that has hot, silent sex?  Is there mime porn? There probably is…I mean, there’s clown porn, right?  Apparently there are a lot of people who hate mimes, though.  Cause I found a site…I hate mimes…dedicated entirely to mime-haters. 

Actually, come to think of it, I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone (aside from the family friend and nerdy high school girl) who really thought mimes were cool. 

Yeah….mimes suck.


5 Responses

  1. i’m literally spitting cereal onto my keyboard reading and laughing at this. that’s freaking hilarious. and you are right – no one really did talk about why brenda was a mime in high school. that’s something that should have been discussed over the morning announcements. for heaven’s sake we got an explantion that we were not going to be calling the foreign exchange student semen (even tho that was his name). “we will call him simon.”

  2. OMG!!!! Brenda the mime and Semen….I mean Simon!! I forgot all about them….oh, the memories of RLHS. I needed a laugh today. Thanks!

  3. I hate mimes they are so close to clowns (as are party magicians) They are horrible and freaky and they just need to go away foreverr and ever. Thank you for the nightmares I will now have tonight!

  4. This was a funny post … OMG, mimes!! You have the best subjects!
    They creep me right out too. Remember Shields and Yarnell (or maybe you’re a bit young); I thought they were weird, looked like twins, but married, so it was creepy almost incestuous like … shiver.
    They are very clownlike for me too.

  5. Mimes should be illegal… I’m old enough that I DO remember Shields and Yarnell – who would believe mimes could have a TV show? Totally creeps me out.

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