Dear FatDog,

How do I hate thee?

Let me count the ways.

I hate thee when you tear open a bag of newly purchased cat food and devour the entire thing overnight.


I hate thee when you reach your giant paws up onto the counter and munch on an entire bag of multi-grain bagels.


I hate thee when you dig the leftover half-moldy bread out of the trashcan and devour it


I hate thee when you take advantage of my hurried lifestyle and take the peanut butter off of the counter and lick the jar as far as your fat tongue will reach


I hate thee when you shit on my floor while I’m at work


I hate thee when you nudge open the bathroom door and tear apart the trash (and as you can see…Drama is equally appalled at your behavior)


You must stop. 

Thank you for turning you disastrous behavior around before I kill you,


P.S. I had considered that SkinnyAnxiousDog may be behind some of these antics.  But your shitty grin gave you away.


You should really work on that.


5 Responses

  1. did your dog eat al of that today???

  2. lol, I think Skinny Dog made him do it, she probably egged him on just to get him into trouble, thus worming her way up in your affections!

  3. Yeah!!!! I am so happy to see you put that on here. It reaminds me of the time Alice ate the pan of brownies including the glass pyrex dish!

  4. you poor thing. i feel your pain. our little dog chews through garbage bags if we leave them in the back yard before trash day… TRASH EVERYWHERE! GREAT blog by the way, OSB sista!

  5. I seriously think that your dog loves to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and finishes it up with a bag of cat food for dessert! How can you be mad at that face??

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