I might have a new family

I decided today that I want to be black. 

I took the kids to the splash pad (a little water “sprayground” type place) today for some fun in the sun.   The kids and I got out of the car and were walking toward the splash pad and a super friendly woman approached me, hugged me, and said (in her sweet southern drawl) “Hiiiiiiii there…I don’t think we’ve met before!”  I was a little confused, which I guess she sensed, because she then asked, “Aren’t you here for the reunion?” I laughed a little and said that no, we were just there to play.  She laughed with me and said “Oh…I didn’t think I recognized you!”  I looked toward the picnic area of the park, where the hip hop was blaring from giant speakers, and saw a gathering of about 100 people.  100 black people.  I’m white.  I guess maybe she thought I was some white girl baby momma, but my kids don’t look the slightest bit interracial, so… 

The kids and I made our way to the splash pad, and spent a few hours hanging with my new fam.  Drama and Boog made fast friends with their new cousins, and (in a moment that made me very proud) they didn’t even seem to recognize that they were the only glowing Caucasians in the park.  About 2 hours into my fun (this family had an excellent play list going…Nelly, Coolio, Destiny’s Child)..a few other white families showed up.  At first I thought…ahhh…my people.  Yeah, not so much.  Let me tell you…those kids were terrible.  Rude, obnoxious, mean, and just downright annoying.  The parents left a lot to be desired as well.  My friend (she’s white too…) came with her little Banana (that’s her daughter, btw…she didn’t join me with her actual fruit), and we soon decided to move over to the playground.  I was so happy that we did, because this got us on the opposite side of the picnic area where I was able to really experience the reunion.  These people were cooking up some damn good smelling food, sweet old men were sitting at card tables playing dominoes and cards, women were laughing together, and they even had as ass shaking competition.  I’ve never in my life been to a family reunion where multiple generations of women/girls had a contest to see who could make their ass shake the best.  Actually, I’ve never been to any venue where any number of women competed in this sport.  But I greatly enjoyed it.

So, yeah…I think I want to be black.  Then I can be in that family.  They totally rocked.


3 Responses

  1. Im with you on that I too want to be black cause at least then i know they would like my big ass

  2. shake it like a polaroid picture….

  3. HILARIOUS. I just had a conversation w/ my mom in which I told her I wanted to be black. Shaking her head in that way she does when I say ridiculous things (which happens often), she tentatively asked why. I told her it was so that I could be comfortable in my fatness. Upon which she just sighed and said, “Oh Brit…” lol.

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