100 things

100th post

Well, I’ll be damned…this is my 100th post! From what I’ve learned in my time stalking other people’s blogs, I’m supposed to take this as an opportunity to share 100 things about myself. This is going to be hard, and will likely involve the help of other people. But it couldn’t have come at a better time, cause I was sitting here honestly wanting to blog but having a serious case of blogger’s block. Problem Solved.

  1. I do not understand racing events, particularly watching them on TV. Nascar, horse racing, motorcycle racing, dog racing… I guess I can understand the appeal of watching them live…the atmosphere is probably awesome. And I can understand the allure of competing in them. But sitting in your living room watching things…cars, bikes, jockeys…go around and around in circles is just stupid.
  2. Snoop is watching MotoGP racing as we speak, and the revving of the engines is among the most abrasive sounds I’ve ever listened to.
  3. Another sound I hate is the sound of bathroom fans. I know they’re quite necessary sometimes, but I’d rather freeze my ass off in winter with a window open than turn on that fan to de-fog the mirror. I can’t explain it, I’m just very averse to that sound.
  4. I have diagnosed myself with a minor case of sensory integration dysfunction. I can’t stand certain textures to the point that even thinking about them makes me almost throw up. Think polyester…like band uniforms. Ugh…I’m covered in goose bumps right now just typing that word. It’s horrible, and it drives Snoop crazy.
  5. Barbie Girl is still stuck in my head.
  6. I got hit by a car when I was a freshman in high school. Actually…it’s more like I walked directly into the side of a moving vehicle. I was crossing the street in front of my high school…looked one way, didn’t see any cars…looked the other way, no cars…stepped out into the street, and got my foot run over. The best part is that only the rear wheel of the car ran over my foot. Which means that it was already directly in front of me when I decided to cross.
  7. I’m a terribly unobservant person. Evidenced by that previous post… I don’t notice anything. Snoop has gone weeks…literally WEEKS without shaving and I won’t notice. I can’t tell you the eye color of many of my close friends. I feel really bad about these things, but honestly…I don’t observe much.
  8. I’m pretty sure I have ADD.
  9. When I was about 6 years old, I wanted to see what would happen if I put my finger under a stapler and pushed down. I stapled my finger. It hurt.
  10. I got busted shoplifting a purple bra when I was 16. My parents were not pleased. The store didn’t press charges, and my parents made me write a letter of apology to the store. I have never lived this down.
  11. I got busted allegedly shoplifting cigarettes when I was a freshman in college. I was going to explain this one…cause I was so wrongly accused…but it’s a long story, and will make a nice blog of it’s own someday.
  12. I stole many many other things back in the day that I did not get busted for. I had a touch of kleptomania. It’s under control now.
  13. When I was a sophomore or junior in college (help me out here, Shell), someone came into my apartment and snuck a Tupperware container of vomit into my fridge. My roommates and I discovered it and have never quite been the same since.
  14. I had a tendency to be sort of bitchy to people in college. Actually…very bitchy. More like, I was a bitch.
  15. I made a noose out of a jump rope and hung my roommate’s favorite stuffed animal from our dining room light.
  16. That same roommate was one of my very best friends, a bridesmaid in my wedding, and now I have no idea where she is. Mandy Sue Graham-Cracker…where are you????
  17. I burp and fart a LOT. And I think it’s hysterical.
  18. I ate ants as a kid.
  19. I hate musicals. Hate them.
  20. But I cried when I saw Phantom on Broadway. Loved it.
  21. The first funeral I ever went to was 2 years ago, when my grandma died. Worst day of my life.
  22. I lived in Hawaii for 3 1/2 years when Snoop was in the military. I’d do just about anything to go back.
  23. I am terrified of ostriches.
  24. And marionettes.
  25. My left boob has always been slightly larger than my right. And it was the preferred milk-supplier for each of my children as well. Weird.
  26. I dream extremely vivid dreams, and remember a LOT of them. And sometimes I can make myself dream about something.
  27. My middle name is Jill.
  28. I had two hamsters in college. I named them after myself (Coolio) and BFFLMNOP (Pedro). Don’t ask.
  29. Pedro died shortly after arriving in my life.
  30. My sophmore year in college, when i was coming back from the gym, I noticed a lady in the office talking about how cute this thing she had in a coffee can was. i went to look, and it was Coolio. Turns out someone on the fifth floor found him in their apartment. I lived on the sixth. And I had no idea he was missing, and had been “feeding” him for days. I took him to the vet, in a cab, in a snowstorm, and was told he had been stepped on and had soft tissue damage. He lived awhile longer, but was never the same. He was mean, and leaked blood from his ass. Then he died.
  31. I like to fuck with people when they’re scared. BFFLMNOP has a crippling fear of heights, and I’d always pretend I was going to jump out of windows and made our 300 pound friend jump on high-rise balconies during college parties.
  32. I had a boob job about a year and a half ago. Nursing two very thirsty babies destroyed me, and it was the best operation ever. I love my boobs.
  33. I can quote nearly all of Forrest Gump.
  34. I am petrified to drive alongside tractor trailers. Especially if I have to pass one, and a median is on my other side. I’m convinced that’s how I’m going to die.
  35. I have a younger brother, and I adore him. Jiggs and I have always gotten along well, even when we were kids, and I don’t get to see him much anymore (he lives in NJ). He’s such an amazing guy, and I feel so lucky to have him as my brother.
  36. Jiggs is getting married in a month, and I’m gaining the most amazing sister-in-law. Yippee!!!!
  37. I lose everything. Every. thing.
  38. I did entirely too many drugs in college. But I wouldn’t change a thing about my years there, cause I made some of the most amazing friends and have memories and stories to entertain me for a lifetime.
  39. I have extremely weak fingernails. No matter what sort of hardener I use, they constantly break and crack. I hate them.
  40. Not long after Snoop and I got married, we were at a barracks party and I decided I wanted a piggy-back ride, but neglected to inform him of that, and ran full-speed and jumped on his back. He wasn’t expecting it, and I kinda knocked him over…and flew directly over him, landing face first on the parking lot. I knocked out my front tooth, and had to get a fake one.
  41. The tooth that got knocked out was kind of crooked, and when I went in to get a new one, I asked them to make it crooked so it looked like my old tooth. I now hate my crooked tooth.
  42. I love any and all possible combinations of peanut butter and chocolate. Especially the peanut butter candy they served in high school.
  43. I can run remarkably fast when I’m drunk. I amazed Snoop with a sprint down a hotel corridor once…he couldn’t believe it.
  44. I can’t run for shit when I’m sober.
  45. I love foot massages.
  46. I often say things about people, usually negative, usually about their fashion choices, when they are not yet out of earshot. I get a lot of shit for this.
  47. I have a knack for writing silly poems and songs.  I can come up with a rhyme for anything.
  48. I was in the marching band for 2 years. I played the xylophone and marimba. It was not a good experience.
  49. I really really want to go skydiving. I had big plans to do it for my 30th b-day, but it just didn’t happen.
  50. I began dating Snoop when I was 13.
  51. My flower girl peed on the floor of the church during my wedding ceremony.
  52. Most good friends, and everyone in my family, call me Mandi.
  53. I love to pluck my eyebrows. It’s like therapy.
  54. I’m planning to go back to school for my Ph.D. when my kids are a little older.
  55. I have 3 tattoos.
  56. I want more, but can’t think of another place to get one, so I probably won’t.
  57. I had my tongue pierced for most of college. I’ve missed it since, and would love to have it again, but I played with it too much and that’s not very professional, huh?
  58. I can’t use chopsticks.
  59. I did the “Richard Petty Racing Experience” two years ago and drove a Nascar car. I didn’t really think I’d like it, but it was totally awesome.
  60. My mom is truly one of my best friends.
  61. So is my dad.
  62. I psychoanalyze everyone I know. It’s a constant process in my head and I can’t ever make it stop. I usually end up diagnosing them with something.
  63. I love sleeping on my couch.
  64. I can’t stand it when people don’t have window treatments.
  65. I have anxiety and it totally runs my life and i hate it.
  66. I hate Angelina Jolie. I’m not sure why, I just do.
  67. I’m addicted to Polar Ice gum.
  68. Music is one of my passions in life. Every memory has a song, every person in my life has a song, and I usually completely lose myself in lyrics.
  69. I used to play the piano…for years.
  70. And the violin.
  71. I have a masters in psychology and I LOVED grad school.
  72. I can’t stand when people mess up “your” and “you’re” or “its” and “it’s.” I want to scream at them.
  73. I have a t-shirt that I have had since 10th grade…it’s a green gap t-shirt and it’s my favorite bummy shirt. Snoop hates it.
  74. I love spending money on my kids. Especially clothes. They are some stylin’ kids and I love it.
  75. I drive a Toyota Sienna, and it always looks like a bomb went off inside. I just can’t keep it clean. It’s really gross.
  76. I have really nice handwriting. It’s been called sexy.
  77. I love making funny faces. My face is rather elastic, so I can do some good ones.
  78. I love purple. And brown.
  79. I never put my shoes away. They are scattered everywhere in my house.
  80. I love peeling sunburn. Especially off of other people.
  81. I was the first person Snoop ever kissed.
  82. When I was in 5th grade, the house next door to ours burnt to the ground and a lady died. Ever since then I’ve had a huge fear of house fires. Whenever I hear a siren, i seriously panic.
  83. I need to change the batteries in the smoke detectors. Like, tonight.
  84. I love power spraying things.
  85. I hate WalMart. I avoid going there at all cost.
  86. For some reason, Cheese curls gross me out. I liken them to trashy people, and refuse to buy them. But my kids love them.
  87. I needed to be in bed about 1/2 hour ago, but I’m determined to finish this damn list.
  88. I’ve started to love cooking, but I HATE cleaning up. So much so that I just don’t.
  89. I have to read People and US weekly every single week.
  90. I love my office.
  91. When my kids were babies, I loved picking their nose when they were sleeping.
  92. I’d love to be a doctor.
  93. I saved Boog’s umbilical cord scab for 2 years. Gross, I know.
  94. I love love LOVE french onion soup. I never used to eat the onions, and would offer to “share” with Snoop, and he’d get so mad that I got all the cheese, bread, and broth and handed him a bowl of soggy onions.
  95. I don’t think any of the people on Grey’s Anatomy are attractive. And I will never watch the show, because for some reason the popularity of it drives me crazy.
  96. I could live in Target. Happily.
  97. I love rap music.
  98. I can’t wait til Drama is old enough for Girl Scouts, so I have Thin Mints and Tagalongs as soon as they are available.
  99. I’m considering going and eating Snoop’s dessert concoction in the freezer, cause he fell asleep on the chair.
  100. I can’t leave my house without mascara.

Wow. That was seriously hard. Thanks for hangin’ in there!!!!


3 Responses

  1. You are my idol for #32. I want one so bad but am skeeered to go under the knife.

    (Amanda) Don’t be scared…it’s so worth it. If you can raise children, you can take anything.

  2. no wonder we are bflmnops. some of those things about you sound like me, but you knew that already. god bless ms. toman and her cats!! i haven’t thought of that in quite some time. ok now there are two things i did not know about you and considering our friend status i am shocked that you saved boog’s umbilical cord scab for two years. what is wrong with you? (you save the weirdest things) wink, wink… And i did not know you hate angelina jolie. i love her!

  3. Well girl…you had me till #95….I could’ve written 75% of these myself….until #95….it’s a shame….a damn shame….


    (Amanda) Sorry…when they started dubbing everyone Mcfuckingwhatever, any interest I had vanished.

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