I had a wonderful day today…despite the fact that it is FUCKING HOT and the humidity did something unspeakable to my hair.  The kids and I started the day with some errands…and on the way to heavenTarget, while listening to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack (illegally downloaded from Limewire, of course), Dramamama blurted out one of the most random little bits I’ve heard in awhile.  Before starting, I should offer some background to those of you who may not be familiar with Hannah Montana.  Robby Ray is Billy Ray Cyrus’s character on the show (Hannah’s dad).  There was an episode that flash-backed (is that a word?) to when he met Miley/Hannah’s mom.  That’s what I thought Drama was thinking about as she started this conversation.  I was wrong.

Drama: “Robby Ray made his wife have a baby cause he had a ball.”

Me: “What?! A ball?” (I had no clue what she was talking about, but given her love of fairy tales and such, I was thinking a crystal ball)

Drama: “Yes.  A ball.”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Drama: “He had a ball.  For his penis.”

Me: “WHAT?”

Boog’s look in the rear view mirror was absolutely priceless at this moment.

Drama: “Daddy told me that.  Cause he’s smart and knows things like that.”

So…after we got home, I decided to ask Snoop about this.  And the conversation went a little something like this:

Snoop: “She knows she’s not supposed to use that word in public.”

Me: “What? Balls???”

Snoop: “Yeah.”

Me: “Why were you talking about balls with her?”

Snoop: “She wanted Skinny Dog to have babies, and I told her that she couldn’t cause she had an operation and had some of her girly parts taken out, and that’s called spaying.  And Fat Dog was neutered, which means they cut his balls off.”

Me: “Could we maybe not teach her that word?”

Snoop:  “What should I say….testicles?” (as if this is just a ridiculous idea)

Me: “Well, yeah.  That’s what they are.  It’s better than having her walking around saying ‘balls.'”

Honestly…who teaches their 4-yr old the word BALLS???? Jeeze.  But it did make for one hell of a funny conversation in the car. 


On a totally unrelated note…do dogs, particularly male dogs, have a secret reservoir of pee that they always keep full?  I was just in the back yard and watched Fat Dog pee for approximately 18 seconds.  It was a lot of pee, and he looked pretty relieved when he was done.  Less than a minute later, Skinny Dog also relieved herself.  Fat Dog immediately walked over to where she had done her business, sniffed it, and peed on it the same spot.  It’s just weird.  When I have to pee…I sit down, and I pee.  Until I’m done.  I don’t hold a bit in there, “just in case.”  I don’t know that I could if I tried.  But then again…I don’t mark my territory either.  Maybe if I was afraid someone was going to take the remote when I left the room…unless I peed on it…I’d hold back a little on the toilet. 


6 Responses

  1. you are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Sooo much better to teach them the real words. Even then it can still get you in trouble.

  3. My boys were wrestling and one accidently got kicked…my daughter (5)comes running into the kitchen and says…MOMMY, B just got kicked in the jewels. I wasn’t happy about her using this term but then I wonder if I would have been happier with my 5 y/o saying “MOMMY, B just got kicked in the testicles”….yeah….not so much….

  4. In my defense I DID use the word testicles when explaining it and after Drama acted clueless as to what this was I used the word balls. I told her….”you know, the ball looking things underneath the penis”. Right or wrong….that was what popped in my head at the time.

    I also usually say “crotch” or “my goods” to the kids when referring to my own area. It’s like my crotch is a magnet for kids knees and feet. ouch

    Oh, and maybe you BETTER start peeing on the remote babe. I DO have the “remote control master” trophy for a reason you know 😉

  5. OMG, I think I just alerted all of my coworkers to the fact that I wasn’t working! I’m crying I’m laughing so hard right now! FWIW, Neither of my kids know “balls” either. LOL!

    Agreed about the dog thing too. Bogey can seriously pee FOREVER!

    (Amanda) Hahaha…what is it with dogs???

  6. Balls is definitely a popular word in my Trenches.

    (Amanda) Yes, but did they learn it from their DAD? And you have boys…no comparison.

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