Dear Boog and Drama,

I just went upstairs to check on you both, and found myself wondering ‘what am I checking on, exactly?‘  All of the reasons to check on your babies…suffocating on blankets, feet caught in crib rails, explosive diapers…pretty much faded away about 3 years ago.  I looked in on you first, Drama, and saw you in the exact position I left you…curled up in a little ball, completely wrapped up in your sheet, with your lips all puckered out like a little Angelina Jolie in training.  (In case you don’t know the name…she’s the one we look at in the magazine with lots of tattoos and multi-colored children) Pulling the sheet up a little (because that’s what Mommies do), I stopped for a minute and just stared at you.  Your perfect skin, the way your nose turns up a little at the end, that damn Mickey Mouse tattoo that’s never going to go away… You’re a doll.  And in that moment, all of the “my legs are tired” and “I don’t want tooooo” whines, the hundreds of times we have to remind you to stop rocking in your chair, the wardrobe battles…they all seemed so tiny and insignificant.  You, with your snotty little attitude…your precocious thoughts…and freakish intelligence…you are my angel.  You came into our lives as such a surprise…Daddy and I weren’t even thinking about having another baby yet (your brother was still a baby himself),…and you have continued to surprise me every day since.  You weren’t a terribly easy baby…you puked constantly, cried a LOT, and you weren’t a fan of sleep.  I wish I had a snapshot of the girl you have grown into to send back to myself at those times 4 years ago when I wondered ‘what the hell am I doing?‘  You have grown into the most phenomenal little girl I have ever met.  Your compassion astounds me, the things that come out of your mouth amaze me, you make me laugh harder than most people I know, and the sight of you can take my breath away like no other.  You are worth every sleepless night…every time I thought I was going to kill someone if you didn’t stop crying…every dramatic tantrum.  I can’t wait to see what else you’ve got in store for me…

After my little moment with Drama, I went in to check on you, Boog.  Like your sister…you were exactly where I left you.  Sleeping on the floor (because this “crippling” knee injury hasn’t allowed you to use the ladder to your bed in a week), surrounded by your clan of meticulously-dressed and precisely-placed stuffed animals, curled on your side with the most peaceful look on your face.  Sometimes I just stare at you when you’re like this, because when you’re sleeping I can still see my little baby boy.  I cannot believe how fast you are growing and how much of a “kid” you have become.  Sometimes I wonder what happened to my baby…the one with the crazy hair, giant eyes, and muffled words that all kind of sounded like “da.”  The one that never slept longer than 2 hours until he was 3 1/2, the one that ran around naked the better part of his early years, dancing and “creating” things.  You have grown into such a cool-ass kid, babe, and you have taught me so much about life.  You are the most empathic, inquisitive, and insightful person I think I’ve ever met.  I know this isn’t always easy for you…seeing as how you’re only 6…and it pains me to see the anxiety and self-doubt you struggle with at times.  I am so proud of you for the progress you have made, and for the success I know the future holds for you.  I know there may come a time when you are “too cool for me,” but until that time…I am so happy to be best buddies with you. 

Thanks for a great Mother’s Day, guys.  Now get some sleep, cause tomorrow’s Monday, and those always suck. 

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6 Responses

  1. Ok, that just made me tear up. I love you babe. Happy Mother’s Day.

    I think I need to read this like once a week or something, so I can stop, take a deep breath, and remember what we have and how lucky we are.

    (Amanda) I’ve already re-read it a few times after hearing too much of the ET Bullshit. I love you too 🙂

  2. What a beautiful post!

    (Amanda) Why…thank you, Tammy!

  3. Awww, that was so sweet! I’m seriously crying here at work now. Happy Mother’s Day… yesterday.

    ~Laura

    (Amanda) I honestly had no idea it was going to touch so many people! Happy Mother’s Day to you as well…three days ago 😉

  4. as sensitive as i am, of course i am crying a river. thanks alot. i just had to wipe snot onto my sleeve. your children are precious. i wish almosty everyday to have a family like you do… maybe someday. by the way, where did those designs come from for your pictureless blog readers?

    p.s. it was about damn time you blogged again. i was going to terrorize you with random posts again.

    (Amanda) It really doesn’t take much to make you cry, ya know. And I have no idea where those designs came from…they just showed up one day. But I like them.

  5. Now, that is what Mom’s Day is all about! Nicely done!

    (Amanda) Thank you, thank you… *taking a bow*

  6. Ditto on the tears. Damn you! I miss them. God I can’t wait to have kids.

    PS I should have a 2 year old…this month. Weird right?

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