My reason to smile today…

I saw the cutest friggin thing ever today. 


Well, ok…maybe not “ever” but that mommy duck and her giant number of ducklings honestly nearly made me shed a tear with their utter cuteness. ~I must be overstressed if a fucking duck is going to make me cry~  I took a client to a nearby duck pond for some unstructured conversation and feeding of the fowls.  When I first saw the duck I was a little freaked out because she was partially hidden behind a tree and when I glanced over I saw a little tiny duck head sticking out between the feathers in one of her wings.  I honestly thought for a second she was a Siamese twin duck.  Then I looked closer and saw that she had her wings outstretched and was shielding her litter (what is a herd of ducks called, anyway?) from the wind.  They were so damn cute, i just wanted to pick them up and rub their softness on my face. But then I realized I’d probably get pecked in the eye, so I didn’t. 

After oohing and aahing over the little duckies for entirely too long, I realized I should probably start acting like the professional adult in this situation, and engage with my client a little.  I looked over to see him approaching a goose.  Anyone who has ever spent any amount of time in petting zoos or on farms knows that ducks are sweet and geese are evil fuckers.  This one was no exception and hissed at my boy (I never heard a hissing goose before, and I hope to never hear one again after today), raised his giant wings and charged.  I screamed, chucked an entire tortilla at his head–Frisbee style–grabbed my little man and headed for the safety of the balcony. 

I seriously hate geese.  Combine their utter mean-ness with the mass quantities of shit that they leave everywhere, and they are quickly approaching ostriches and emus on my list of birds that should be eliminated. 



8 Responses

  1. Geese ARE mean fuckers, but no where near as intimidating as the ostrich. They are just freakishly huge and scary.

    Oh, and FLOCK goofball 😉

  2. Oh yes! Geese should be eliminated! I used to live on campus at the college I attended and had to walk over a bridge (of a pond) every day to get to my classes. I was chased, pecked, and/or hissed at on a daily basis. I have a freakish fear of geese.

    (Amanda) Are they necessary for the food chain? Because if not, I’m all about killing them. Now.

  3. I hear you on the geese, where i grew up someone thought it would be fun to have them as a pet, so everyday i lived in fear of them getting out and attcking. they were mean little shits!!!

  4. Seriously hate geese… spitting, biting, pooping, nasty birds. They don’t even taste all that good roasted.

    (Amanda) They spit too??? Wtf is wrong with these birds?!?

  5. I think we should take those fockers hostage and make them fly us everywhere. How bout that !

    (Amanda) When you figure out how to make them fly us somewhere wtihout pecking, hissing, or shitting on us…gimme a call.

  6. geese are also very loud. i hate to hear their squaking. it’s like nails on a chalkboard. and oh yeah props to snoop – flock, duh, everyone knows that. tee hee

    (Amanda) They don’t squak, they honk. And I don’t think it’s spelled squak. And of course I knew it was a flock…I need to make him look smart sometimes! 😉

  7. I shall add geese to my list of evil animals


    (Amanda) Uh-oh Teri…I believe we’ve found the first thing we do NOT have in common. Cats?! Are you serious?! And we had a pet hamster who was a doll…until she got rapid aging disease and died a frightening death. I have no beef with squirrels either. What are you…an animal hater? Jeeze… I may have to think our pseudo relationship.

  8. Well, first off, we had a cat and he was evil. I swear to god he was participating in espionage activities during the night. Squirrels follow me. Possums are overgrown rats. My hamster ate ALL of her babies and you said yourself that geese are evil.

    Maybe I’m your doppleganger? 😉

    (Amanda) OK, I’m such a loser. I had to look up “doppleganger” before answering this. And if you are, i’m kind of scared because they don’t sound very nice. And maybe squirrels follow you because you’re nuts?! 😉

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