Nasty ass trees

Since today was Foul Mood Friday I decided to say a big loud “Fuck It” to work and left around lunch time.  I headed to Old Navy for a little retail therapy…somehow a gift card from Christmas hadn’t burned a hole in my purse yet so I figured this was a fine time to use it.  On the way there I decided to roll down the window and enjoy some nice fresh spring air. 

Wrong.

I got my first whiff of blooming cum trees this year. 

Those f’in trees are just awful.  I have never met another person who associates the scent with anything other than jizz…and I’ve never met anyone who thinks that is a good smell.  So why are these trees still around?  Why can’t we just eradicate the nasty things?  Are they really an integral part of the ecosystem?

So I continue on to Old Navy (tangent–>Boog used to call it “Old Ladies” which totally cracked me up and now I giggle whenever I say Old Navy)…with the windows up.  I found a great spot, and just as I was thinking that finally something went my way and the day was going to turn around…I stepped into this:
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I screamed, gagged, and almost shit my pants from stepping in giant maggots. They do look like maggots, right? I’m not crazy for thinking that? Upon realizing they weren’t moving…and they were crunchy (I’ve never actually stepped in maggots, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t crunchy)…I decided to inspect.  They are some sort of pod/seed sorta thing from a tree.  And when they crunch open, they release a big “puff” of nasty yellow pollen. 

We can probably eradicate those, too. 

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6 Responses

  1. watch where you’re going goofball

  2. I will help you get get rid of every one of those f’in trees. there was nothing worse than picking up B from school and waiting outside with those. Maybe the invasion of the pollen pods will stop too

  3. i am still a month shy of those fin cum trees. seriously those pod things are so scary.

  4. I have never seen these elusive cum trees you speak of. Perhaps we don’t have them in my neck of the woods? I do get a big whiff of shit from the meat packing plant on the way to preschool.

    I hate the Midwest.

    Hey! I bought my new outfit at Old Navy! Did you get anything cute?

  5. EEewww… that is a seriously nasty tree and the little cum cones are ever more nasty…. I don’t think we have anything like that in Florida, we just have ‘love bugs.’

    blog hoppin’ – etcetera

  6. I’m still not sure what trees you’re talking about…what trees!?

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