I sit here tonightWe gather together, on this beautiful night in March, to pay our respects to the talented, scheming Mr. Mouse.  He lived a quiet life, rarely making himself known.  A humble mouse, he never tempted fate, choosing to stay behind cabinet doors, invisible to the large carnivorous canines and murderous humans lurking only feet away.  In his free time, Mr. Mouse enjoyed long walks in the fields, which is where he met his future wife.  Eventually, he invited her into his abode, and together they lived quietly, content to eat the disposed food of his glutton host.  Alas, Mr. Mouse’s love of peanut butter eventally lead to his demise, and he and his secret wife were lost in a tragic search for more…helpless victims of human technology.  He is, perhaps, survived by many mouse children.  If so, they have likely inherited the unfortunate peanut butterholism gene, and without strict intervention will likely meet the same fate. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Mouse.  You were one hell of a mouse. 



***This moment was brought to you by d-CON, the makers of the “No view, no touch mouse trap” and the “ultra-set mouse trap.”


3 Responses

  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a great story. Bye-Bye Mr. Mouse.

    That must be the uttra-set mouse trap, because I sure as hell see him. Is he GIANT?

  2. Ewwww…I just had a full body shiver looking at that.

  3. OMFG, we WILL be fast friends! LOVING your blog.

    We had a mouse once, I trapped him (alive) in a box with a one-way swinging door. Stupid mouse. He hasn’t been back….

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