What is wrong with people?

Today has reminded me (as if I had forgotten), how truly rude and annoying some people can be.  One day a week I only work a half day, and use the other half as flex-time/work at home (whether or not I actually work is another story…).  Today, I decided to swing by Wal-Mart on my way home to pick up a few groceries.  Honestly…why do I continue to torture myself by shopping in that damn store? Anyway…I get a few things, and am thrilled to see there is no line at the self-scan register.  Excellent.  Of course it decides to be the most obnoxious machine today…”Please remove all items from the bagging area,” “Please place your items in the bagging area.” Wtf does this thing want from me?! I put my applesauce (on of the giant glass jars) and wine (ok…so maybe this wasn’t the best combination of items for a bag) into a bag and take it off, when I see that the damn bottom of the bag wasn’t sealed up.  Too late…the applesauce and wine go falling down to the ground, and there is a HUGE applesauce explosion.  Covered in applesauce, I looked down and noticed that by some twist of fate the wine bottle had survived.  Phew.  I looked at the lady behind me in line, apologized and asked if any had gotten on her.  I thought that was quite nice of me.  The cranky old bitch glares at me, and said “Well…yes it did get on me.”  I apologized again, and she just turned her head.  Wtf? It’s not like I hurled the jar of applesauce at her or anything! It was a f’in accident, lady! Things happen! So the cashier comes over and asks me what happened.  What the hell does it look like happened? I pointed out that the bag wasn’t sealed on the bottom and she got all snotty with me, and said, “Well I guess I’ll have to call maintenance.”  Again…it’s not like I tried for this to happen! I continue to scan the last of my groceries, stepping around the mess on the floor, and kind of grossed out because the applesauce had gotten into the cute little peep-toe part of my shoe and was now squishing in between my toes.  The grocery lady asked me “aren’t you going to go get another applesauce?”  Good customer service would’ve been to go and get one for me, but this is Wal-Mart we’re talking about, so I wasn’t expecting that.  But I was expecting for her to NOT act like it was such a bother when I declined and asked if she could just void out the applesauce.  Then maintenance lady shows up, and stands there…totally blocking my cart.  Cashier lady asked her if she wanted to start cleaning up the glass, and she said “I can’t. She (meaning me) be in my way.”  Not only does she lack customer service skills…she apparently lacks grammar skills as well.   I scan my last thing, a giant bag of dog food, and bed over to put it under my cart.  Not an easy thing to do, considering I had to avoid the shrapnel on the floor, there is applesauce squishing between all of my toes, and there’s a big janitor cart in front of me.  As I go to stand up, maintenance lady’s broom falls over, cracks me on the head, and in my attempt to stand up without attracting even more attention to myself…I somehow get tangled in the broom handle and the handle from that dust-pan thing.  No one offers to help, apologizes, laughs….NOTHING.  Just looked at me.  So I grabbed my purse, asked maintenance bitch to please move her cart, which she did quite begrudgingly, and squished my way to my car.  At least the wine was ok.

My next stop on my way home, is Kangaroo.  For those of you not from NC…this is what we have instead of 7-11/Uni-mart.  I needed to get a can of fix-a-flat for my tire, because it’s had a slow leak for over a month and I’m just too lazybusy to take it somewhere to get fixed.  Snoop will be home in 3 weeks, and it’s at the top of the honey-do list.  I take my applesauce coated self into Kangaroo, get the can, and take it to the counter.  The chick at the counter was sitting on a stool, on the phone, and didn’t look up until I stood on my tip-toes…bumped the can on the counter, and said excuse me.  She gets up, reaches for the can, and then apparently the person on the other end of the phone said something shocking because she stopped, said “WHAT?” and walked into the back.  Again…wtf??? She came out a few seconds later…still on the phone…and rang me up.  She didn’t acknowledge me for one second…I could’ve been standing there with 4 heads and she would’ve had no clue.  I wanted to give her a snide “You’re welcome” on my way out, but her ass turned and walked back into the back before I had a chance to open up my mouth.  Inconsiderate wench.

So then I finally get home to clean off my cute shoes.  I was putting away the groceries, and my dogs start going nuts out the front windows.  I looked out, and saw a UPS truck in front of my house.  There was a “sorry we missed you” sticker on my door the past two days so I was thrilled to actually be home today.  Snoop got me a wine-of-the-month membership (best b-day present ever), but they always need a signature, and I’m never at home, so I always have to wait until the delivery fails three days in a row so I can go pick it up.  I waited to hear the door bell, but never did, and when I looked out the window the truck was pulling away!!! I opened the door, saw a sticker on it, and ran after the truck.  He stopped and I said “I believe you just put a sticker on my door…but clearly I’m home.”  He looked at me and said “Oh, well you’re never there, so I usually just have the sticker ready.”  Once again…wtf??? Is this normal practice?  Shouldn’t they at least ring the bell to make sure?  I mean, there were two cars in the driveway, and a crazy applesauce coated woman inside yelling at her dogs to shut the hell up…clearly I needed that wine delivery! He acted all annoyed that he had to go *all the way back* into the truck and get my box, but he did, and I trudged my bare footed ass back to the house.

Thank God I have three bottles of wine to choose from tonight. 

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4 Responses

  1. By far the best entry yet! I was LMAO til tears were pouring down my face. I WISH I was there to witness this debacle! Can you imagine if I had been?! We’d STILL be at Wal-Mart, sitting amidst the applesauce swamp, laughing our fucking asses off. *sigh* I miss you!

  2. i hope friday is much better. i’m too sleepy to comment, but i truly appreciate the ups story. our ups man at work is such a d-bag sometimes – so that story sounded about right

  3. I hate people too. And Wal-Fart.

  4. WOW…where do I begin on this one? Ok, first of all…..this kind of shit only happens to you. Now you know why I NEVER use those self check out things. They are evil. Plus the store makes plenty of money off of you that it can hire more actual people to ring you up and bag your groceries. It’s people like you that give in and do it all yourself to save a few minutes. I refuse. I will not give in. So, ha. I don’t think the Kangaroo part was that bad. Most of the time I go there at night and dont get the kids on the phone. I get the old lady that I SWEAR is stonned half the time. She wanted to come to our place to party one time, because I was buying beer and ice cream. She’s hilarious. The UPS thing was funny, but you really can’t blame the poor guy. EVERY month he has to bring you a package of wine 3 f’n days in a row when you’re ALWAYS at work. I told you to get them to change your shipping address to your work address…..how many times? If you would take the 3 minutes to do that the whole problem would be avoided. But then again…..if you did that there would be no reason to bitch and complain about it and then what would you blog about?

    I love you babe….

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