Flapping ass-cheeks

Ok, let me start by saying I love my dad. But he just made me spit my wine out of my mouth in disgust, and for that…I’m mad.  How did this happen, you ask? Well…ok…you didn’t ask, but I’m going to tell you anyway.  I’m lounging on my couch…surfin’ the net, watching something mindless on HGTV, and enjoying my wine, when the sweet old man sleeping on the recliner (whose snoring I have somehow been able to tolerate for the past nearly 3 hrs) made a sound that was beyond disgusting. I’m all for farting…hell, we all do it. Everyone enjoys a good fart. But HOW the HELL can you squeeze out something that forceful, that earth-shattering, and that had to have left at least a wide skid-mark on the underpants…without even skipping a beat in the snore? And not once…but TWICE? We aren’t talking about a normal little toot here, people. They were HUGE…multi-tonal and wet.  And still…he snores. Unaware of the giant hole he may have just burned into my chair.  I just don’t get it…

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One Response

  1. Ok, that story just made me about pee myself, which isn’t too good normally, but even more so since I’m at work. I’m sitting here trying to pretend I’m doing work on the computer, so people leave me alone, but I couldn’t keep from cracking up reading about your Dad’s disgusting “flapping ass-cheeks”. Too funny. Thanks for the laugh babe. Oh, and don’t let your Dad sit or sleep on my chair anymore. If you do at least cover it in plastic or something. I don’t waint it TOO tainted before I get back. Thanks babe.

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